Online shopping lights up the same reward centres in the brain that are associated with drug and food addiction. For anyone under the spell of the ASOS website, this is easy to believe. The joy of nabbing the last pair of jeans in your size and finding a 10% off coupon is all too real. Then there’s the obsessive refreshing of the tracking page, and the palpable excitement in the air as the delivery truck pulls up.

When you finally have the items in your grubby little mitts, they almost never live up to your expectations. But that’s okay, because you know it’s not the winning, but the taking part that counts.

1. There are days when you can’t concentrate at work because you are thinking about the flash ASOS sale that you’re currently missing. Unless of course your desk is situated in a corner in which case you already have seven pairs of shoes in your basket

2. You have to constantly reassure yourself with excuses about why your addiction is okay

3. ‘Only one left’ will increase your heart rate more than any class A stimulant could ever dream of

4. The thought of shopping IRL actually scares you. Think of all… the people…

5. You never, ever have any money left in your account at the end of each month

6. Finishing college was extremely difficult, not because you were faced with the prospect of the real world for the first time, but because your student discount expired 

7. Waiting for the post to arrive is a strangely pleasant form of torture that you secretly love more than the delivery itself

7. You’re on a first name basis with the lady at the Post Office. Free returns FTW

8. You can never purchase just one item and be done with it. That would be like, bad for the planet, right? 

9. You Google ‘how to stop spending money’ and discover that in order to do that you will need to stop buying things. The stress of this realisation leads to more shopping

10. You’ve come to terms with your addiction, because unlike meth or cheese, it makes you look pretty damn great